Hating Cain Read online

  “Down my throat.”

  He bit his lip. “You don’t have to.”

  “Want to.”

  “Fine.”

  He gently caressed my face, and the tenderness of it made me briefly forget I was nearly just begging to choke on his dick. Then his thumb pulled my lip down, preparing me for what was to come.

  “Take it,” he urged softly, pressing the head of his cock to my lips.

  I took it eagerly. I was so fucking horny that I didn’t wait for him to thrust–I threw myself into it, swallowing his cock as far as it would go, not caring at the way I nearly gagged from my own enthusiasm.

  But the gasp and subsequent moan from Cain was worth the brief second of discomfort. His fingers grabbed my hair, holding me in place as I sucked. His control finally broke and he began fucking my mouth in earnest, no longer holding back, and it was exactly what I wanted. His pleasured cries filled the air as he used my mouth like the tight, wet hole it was, and I thought I might cum from giving head alone.

  Cain froze, and the orgasm came a second later. His hot seed gushed straight down my throat, past my tongue where I could barely taste it. I took in deep half-breaths, waiting for his seemingly endless orgasm to end. He pulled out with a loud gasp and collapsed with his forearm thrown over his sweat-drenched face.

  “Holy fucking shit,” he said.

  I swallowed the cum still lingering on my tongue with an audible gulp and Cain shivered.

  And then he threw himself at me.

  “What are you–”

  He cut me off with an aggressive kiss, not caring that I tasted like his own cum. The sexual desperation came off him in waves. Cain wasn’t done yet.

  Just as I realized that, he shoved me down so that he was on top now. His eyes blazed brightly as he stared down at my cock, freed from my boxers but untouched this whole time.

  He bit his lip. “It’s big.”

  “Sorry.”

  He snorted, then wrapped his hand around it. I couldn’t help the small moan that escaped me.

  I was surprised to see Cain so enthusiastic about getting me off when he’d already cum. Most guys I’d been with in the past got bored after finishing and didn’t care to see me through.

  But Cain was different. That fact was starting to sink in now.

  Cain leaned in, resting on my thighs as he put two hands around my cock and stroked. He stared at my shaft with a lustful gaze, like he’d never seen anything so incredible. I blushed harder.

  “You have no idea,” he began with a soft laugh, “how many times I’ve fantasized about this.”

  I sputtered. “What?”

  “That shouldn’t really be a surprise,” he said as he pressed a kiss to the tip of my cock, making me shudder. “I already told you I had a big crush on you in high school.”

  Before I could respond, he ran his tongue up the length of my shaft and whatever words I had lingering in my throat shrivelled up and died. A full-body shiver ran through me.

  “Cain…”

  He wrapped his lips around the shaft and slid upwards, leaving a trail of hot saliva in its wake. He ever-so-gently grazed his teeth against my flesh, just enough to make me gasp, then kissed and licked those spots with what I could only describe as adoration. I’d been sucked off before, sure, but this was different. This felt truly intimate in a way I hadn’t experienced before.

  This felt… loving.

  I knew I was being ridiculous, so I shoved the thought out of my mind, which wasn’t too difficult since Cain’s blowjob skills made my mind go blank. He moaned as he bobbed his head, taking half my length in a steady rhythm. Heat pooled in the pit of my stomach. I wanted this to go on forever, but I knew I could only hold myself back for so long.

  He sped up and sucked with such intensity that I wondered if he was even breathing. The air smelled like sweat and sex and just a hint of Cain’s strawberry shampoo.

  As I lost track of logic and any sense of awareness, I let my body move on its own. My fingers carded into Cain’s hair and I revelled in how soft his locks were. For a moment the action seemed too intimate, too affectionate for two guys blowing each other, but I didn’t care. I shut off my brain and just let myself be.

  So I continued petting Cain’s hair while he sucked me off.

  And I liked doing it.

  The lust that pooled in a hot, tight pressure point beneath my belly was reaching its limit. I couldn’t go on much longer with Cain’s delicious mouth enveloping my cock in its wet heat. But at the same time, I didn’t want this to end. Ever. I wanted this constantly. I realized, selfishly, that I wanted like this every night. Maybe every morning, too.

  I wanted him.

  I–

  “Oh, fuck,” I cried as Cain deepthroated me. I didn’t just reach the edge of my orgasm, I barrelled over it, falling off the cliff as I came down his throat with a seemingly endless rush of cum. I bucked my hips, craving the tightness and pleasure, and when it was finally over I thought I was going to black out. I released his hair and fell back on the couch, boneless and spent.

  Cain licked his lips impishly, swallowing every last drop like it was the best thing he had ever tasted.

  Stars danced across my vision. Every breath felt like a struggle. The entire surface of my body prickled with sweat and electric sensation.

  “Oh my god,” I muttered, not knowing what else to say.

  Cain lay across my chest like a self-satisfied cat. Despite needing to catch my breath the pressure of him lying on me felt nice. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were on his back, stroking him like a lover.

  The thought was a momentary blip in my mind, but as soon as it happened, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  Having sex once didn’t make us lovers. Lovers required deeper intimacy and romance, and those were things Cain and I didn’t share.

  I was distracted by Cain letting out a soft murmur as he settled deeper on my chest. His eyes were already closed, and his body felt limp and heavy in the way that only mostly-asleep people feel. He was shorter and thinner than me, so I could easily move him, and part of me wanted to. But I didn’t.

  My heart thumped thickly as the sudden onset of nerves crept through my body like a thousand tiny spiders. I wasn’t feeling regret so much as a slow, full-blown panic.

  I’d just had sex with the man I hated for ten years.

  I knew now that what I’d been angry about wasn’t his fault, but that didn’t change my feelings for the past decade. My dislike of Cain had been ingrained in my very sense of self.

  And now I’d let him deepthroat me, and I liked it.

  I wanted more.

  And that terrified me.

  22

  Cain

  I woke to a mild commotion. For a good couple minutes, I was dazed and confused, wondering where the hell I’d woken up before I realized I was laying on Johnny’s couch. There was a thin blanket thrown over me, and I was still naked from the waist down. That normally wouldn’t be an issue, but I didn’t make a habit of being nude in other people’s houses, especially when I heard unfamiliar voices coming from the front hall.

  Blushing in embarrassment, I bolted upright and scrambled into my clothes. I cursed under my breath, wishing I’d had a chance to shower before whatever the hell was happening because I still smelled like sex.

  I ran into a powder room and quickly washed up enough to be presentable, practically dousing myself in vanilla-scented soap. As my consciousness became clearer, I realized one of the voices I heard was Kaitlyn’s. She was speaking to Johnny.

  Johnny.

  The memories of the previous night came flooding back, making my body temperature rise. The pleasantness lingered like a good dream, but I knew it wasn’t a dream. I’d woken up on Johnny’s couch, for fuck’s sake.

  Johnny’s voice echoed down the hall. “Right down here in the living room is fine, guys.”

  I poked my head out to see Johnny, Kaitlyn, and a few men that looked like professional movers b
ringing in a large couch.

  “Really, Kaitlyn, you didn’t have to do this,” Johnny said. He was holding an industrial-style lamp by the heavy cement base.

  “I told you not to worry about it,” Kaitlyn insisted. Her arms were full of throw pillows. “Consider it a housewarming gift.”

  “A very expensive gift, I’m guessing,” Johnny mumbled.

  Not wanting any more backtalk, Kaitlyn gave him a stern look and made a zip-it motion. Johnny just sighed.

  As the movers placed the brand-new couch across from the couch I’d just woken up on (the couch you and Johnny were blowing each other on, my brain added unhelpfully), I thought it was a good time to announce my presence.

  “Getting some new furniture?” I asked.

  Johnny and Kaitlyn both stopped.

  Kaitlyn beamed. “Cain! I didn’t know you were here, too. Are you helping Johnny redecorate?”

  I expected a smile, or a wink, or at least some kind of positively acknowledging glance from Johnny. What I got instead was a dull stare–one that made it obvious he really, really wished I wasn’t here right now.

  It felt like a kick to the balls.

  I put on my fake smile as I replied to Kaitlyn. “Oh, definitely! God knows he needs someone with good taste around here.” I winked at her while hoping Johnny felt stung by my not-so-playful jab. “That’s what we’re here for, right?”

  “You know it!”

  Kaitlyn placed the pillows down on the new couch, fluffing them up despite cringing at the skull designs on one of them. While her back was turned, Johnny shot me a glare. I felt myself bristle.

  What the fuck is his problem now?

  He ushered me off to the side and I followed, eager to snap back at him if that’s the kind of game he was playing.

  “Nice to see you too, asshole,” I hissed under my breath.

  “What?”

  “Why are you looking at me like you just stepped in dog shit?”

  Johnny blinked, like he genuinely didn’t know what I was talking about. He glanced back to Kaitlyn and the movers. “I guess I just forgot you’d still be here. I mean, I didn’t expect all this from Kaitlyn.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s not your fault. Sorry.”

  I deflated, but only a little. I was still annoyed at him for his personality doing a 180 after what we shared last night.

  The thought made me hesitate. Did he regret that, too? The same way he regretted kissing me?

  “Is that all?” I asked stiffly. “The look you gave me was a little harsher than ‘I didn’t know my fuckbuddy would still be here in the morning’.”

  He snapped his gaze on me. “Can you keep your voice down?”

  “I thought Kaitlyn knew you were gay now.”

  He gritted his teeth. “That doesn’t mean I want the whole damn community knowing my personal business.”

  Part of me felt stung that he was trying to keep me a secret, even though I knew logically that wasn’t true. I knew I was being a little petulant, so I tried to smother my ugly emotions. I told myself it was completely normal for Johnny to want to keep our sexcapade a secret.

  “Fine,” I said with a sigh. Wanting to get things back to normal, I asked, “Can I help with anything at all, then?”

  Johnny shrugged. “You can help me get the rest of the stuff from the back of Kaitlyn’s car.”

  “Okay.”

  Despite agreeing to help, I felt no joy in retrieving items with Johnny. There was still a strange emotional wall between us, like he still didn’t want me to be here even after he’d apologized. After a couple trips of unloading the smaller items from the SUV, I felt like Johnny’s patience with my presence was thinning. When everything was settled in place, I stood awkwardly by the hall as Kaitlyn gushed to Johnny about how good the living room looked.

  “Really, it’s such a big improvement,” she said. “Even just a few personal touches can make a big difference.”

  “Thanks,” Johnny said, giving her a genuine smile.

  An ugly feeling stirred in my chest. Why was Johnny so eager to give Kaitlyn a smile and not me, the man who slept with him last night? It seemed like once he’d gotten a nice blowjob, he wanted nothing to do with me.

  Fine, I thought bitterly. If that’s what he wants, I can make it happen.

  Roxy had been scuttling underfoot the entire time. I scooped her up in my arms and headed for the door.

  “Oh, Cain, we got everything from the car, honey,” she called.

  I grew even more annoyed when it was Kaitlyn who noticed me leaving first, and not Johnny.

  “I know,” I replied, barely able to put a glaze of normal on top of my voice. “Just heading home now.”

  “All right! See you around.”

  I glanced over my shoulder to see if Johnny had anything to say. He hesitated, chewing his lip, but ultimately didn’t even wish me goodbye. The cold feeling in my chest spread and I stormed out of his house and back over to my own property.

  A dark thought entered my mind: was Johnny just using me for sex?

  But even in my fragile state, I knew that wasn’t right. What we shared last night was more than sex. It felt good. Intimate. I remembered the feeling of Johnny’s hands threading through my hair, the gentle stroke of his hands on my back, the warmth of his body beneath mine.

  Even just thinking about it sent a soft shiver down my spine. I licked my lips as if feeling the ghost of Johnny’s kiss.

  No, we weren’t just two horny teenagers using each other to get off. What happened was more than that.

  I stopped as I realized something.

  Maybe that was exactly what Johnny was afraid of.

  Despite my own bitter emotions, I glanced back at his house. The movers were getting back in their truck now and Kaitlyn was chatting with Johnny on his doorstep.

  My brain put the pieces together, but they were an awkward fit. Buying new furniture meant Johnny was settling in. He intended to stay here in Rosecreek. That meant he wasn’t leaving.

  That made a flash of hope bloom in my chest, and relieved some of my anxiety. Whatever mental hurdle Johnny was going through post-sex, I was sure he would get over it eventually. If he was settling in for good, that meant we had plenty of time to work things out.

  Still, I hoped he would get over his issues sooner rather than later. I was tired of him yo-yoing back and forth on his emotions.

  Relax, Cain, I told myself.

  I forced a deep breath. We weren’t in any sort of relationship. I kept having to tell myself that. Mutual blowjobs after an emotional moment did not equal a relationship.

  To make this work, I knew I needed to slow down and take things at Johnny’s pace. Maybe I spooked him last night when I told him about my years-long desire to suck him off. I grimaced. Had I accidentally pushed Johnny away by admitting that?

  Still, despite anything I’d done, I still thought it was childish of him to behave like this. One way to piss me off was to pretend like I didn’t exist after sharing a moment of deep intimacy. I was tired of taking two steps forward and one step back with him.

  The ball was in his court. Once again, I stalked off home, and waited impatiently for Johnny to make the first move.

  23

  Johnny

  I knew Cain was pissed at me, but I was too freaked-the-fuck-out to care.

  I woke with him in my arms, his body splayed against mine, warm and soft and smelling good, and I panicked. I shimmied him out of my grip as gently as possible so as not to wake him up and threw a blanket on him to cover his bare ass, then took a solid ten minutes to have a silent meltdown.

  We had sex. It wasn’t a dream, or even a wet dream. It was the real fucking thing, and I had the stains on my clothes to prove it.

  Everything was happening too fast. I felt like I’d taken one hesitant step forward and ended up spiralling down the cliffside with no way out of my predicament.

  Except there is a way out of this, I realized. And that’s been my main goal this e
ntire time.

  I exhaled deeply and forced myself to cool it. The gears were already turning, and my plan was underway. With Kaitlyn’s help and her surprise gift of a brand-new couch that she paid for and arranged the delivery of, my house was on its way to looking lived-in, which is exactly what I needed for Ms. Walker to believe my story.

  Did I feel guilty about tricking her? Sort of. Not enough to stop what I was doing, though. I wasn’t going to be railroaded into doing whatever my parents wanted, especially after their deaths. I had my own life to live and I refused to be held back by them any longer.

  And if that meant lying to the lawyer who withheld the mysterious other half of the will from me, then so be it.

  I started acting deliberately messy. I’d leave clothes lying around on purpose and let a dish or two pile up in the sink. I clipped a few more flowers from the garden and put them in jars that sat on the counter. There was even a natural layer of dust on the TV that manifested by itself with no input from me, but I smeared my fingers across the surface anyway. Just small things to make it seem like home.

  For a moment I wondered if I should ask Cain to bring Roxy over to track in some dirt, but I groaned and quashed that thought. Cain was upset with me for being cold earlier, and I probably deserved his ire.

  Then I thought of something that would work much better than a few dirty pawprints.

  I grabbed the phone.

  “Hey, Mat? You still up for coming over?”

  He chuckled. “Finally. Thought you’d never ask.”

  It wasn’t going to be a fancy Rosecreek party like the one Cherry threw. There would be no hors d'oeuvres, no gazebos, no fairy lights. Just some good old-fashioned booze, chips and music playing from my laptop speakers.

  I’d told Mat to bring a few of our mutual friends from the city, both to liven up the party and because I missed everyone I’d left behind. Hopefully it wouldn’t be long until I could ditch Rosecreek and move back downtown with the fat check I got for the house.

  As I prepared, my mind wandered. I thought about inviting some people from Rosecreek to the party, but I hesitated. Would it be ruder to invite them, or not invite them? If they came, they might feel out of place among my city friends–especially since this was a party to wear in the house and eventually get rid of it. But if they weren’t invited, would I seem like an asshole?